Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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