If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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