There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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