I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
