If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
