Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize