erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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