thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
