i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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