I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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