I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize