guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
ttyl tear gas
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
