saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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