The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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