you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
did i walk over a car last night?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So much Jack, so little girl.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
