i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i've created a new STD.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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