So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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