Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
