Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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