Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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