youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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