I think I just saw someone hide a body.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
