the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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