Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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