She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
