Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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