9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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