Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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