He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
