never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
