I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
