You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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