what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
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I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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