I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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