I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
