im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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