Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
