I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize