oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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