Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
