The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This toilet bowl is my home.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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