end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
