I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
