the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
