I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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