That's intense
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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