Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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