That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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