So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
