I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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