i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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