I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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