I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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