The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
