I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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