he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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