Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
