if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
