I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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