Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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